Across the Universe Review: Score: 3.4 out of 10

Director Julie Taymor has travelled across the universe to bring us back a film from the second dimension: it looks out of this world, but in reality, its actually quite flat. To call Across the Universe, a movie is a stretch, as it only has about half an hour's worth of plot, featuring shallow and contrived characters in a cliche situation, interspersed with loosely connected music videos of poorly covered Beatles songs. As there is so little actual plot, the film relies on the songs to move it along, the problem being that, as the songs were not created for the characters, they seem impersonal and fail to move the character development along, and instead driving the narrative into strange territory that serves no purpose but to lead up to... more poorly executed Beatles songs! Hooray. Adding to the stupidity of the concept are characters named after people in Beatles songs, whose only purpose are to show up as subjects for more Beatles songs. The entire film revolves around these songs, with nothing else to hold them up, and in the end, they can't hold a candle to the originals.

Meet the Has-Beens

The Has-Beens are a rock band in the Shak Budisen universe who have come to Shak's town to play their last concert. In the order they appear in the video, here are their character profiles:
Red Palmer: Drums, Red is probably the only member of the has-beens to retain his musical talent, unfortunately, he can't stay awake long enough to play a whole concert.
Maxi Dump: Singing and "GEETAR" Maxi Dump is jovial, happy, and unintelligent, and an egotistical ham. He doesn't actually play his guitar, which is actually a water jug painted with flames and with a fret board added. I conceived his name when I was coming back from the park and there was a pickup truck with a dumper on it and it said Maxi Dump and I said "Hey I sometimes take a Maxi Dump"
Dave "Jack the Ripper" Ramirez Lopez-Coen: Rehab? Dave should have been in the retirement home a while ago as he is quite senile and frequently crosses the border to lunacy. However, the band keeps him with them because he was the most popular member of the band during their heyday.

Diary of the Dead Review: Score, 5.6 out of 10

Diary of the Dead, George A. Romero's zombie movie, is interesting and experimental, if not necessarily successful. While the story is still solid, most of the new techniques, such as the hand-held perspective not only fall flat but distract from the story. The characters themselves are shallow compared to other Romero characters, with the main character being the camera, which seems only to serve as an impediment for the story, because in order for it to progress, you always have to know who is behind the camera.  While in most Romero films there are one or  more characters who represent everything bad the human race can become, instead, that character is replaced with a camera, just recording everything and not doing anything to help. While it seems that Romero is satirizing his own profession, his delivery of the social commentary is the bluntest yet, with the characters constantly yelling at the camera man whose unrealistic devotion to the camera makes it difficult to identify with him him. However the worst, bluntest delivery comes from the narration by the camera man's girlfriend Deb. Not only does her narration at the beginning of the film give away the fate of her boyfriend, but it attempts to hit you on the head with a club that says "social satire." All of Romero's underlying themes in his other Zombies like "are we worth saving" and "look what we become during a crisis" rather than delivered through the actions of the characters are narrated into the picture before the viewer is given any time to think about what has happened. The film ends abruptly and confusingly, with a group of main characters locking themselves into a room. When one thinks about Romero's other endings, the plot just seems like a random string of events involving zombies that eventually must come to an end. Because of the "student film" perspective, the plotting does not seem deliberate, however, the execution of the handheld perspective is not good enough to make it seem as though the events are random, with plot-devices crammed in wherever there is an excuse for them. As a Romero movie and as a well-plotted movie, Diary falls flat, however, it does manage to be entertaining. There are good action sequences, and although the handheld perspective does little to further the story line it occasionally provides an interesting device for suspense. Some of the secondary characters are interesting, such as the two groups of national guard refugees, even if their screen time is far too short. In addition, Greg Nicotero has improved on his zombie make up craft since Land of the Dead, even though he has fewer opportunities to use it. Overall, however, Diary's shallow characters, blunt delivery and abrupt ending drag down an otherwise passable horror film.

Oh yeah, the blog has received 100 hits. Thanks to every one for visiting.

The Most Interesting Movie Trailer I've Seen in a While

Shak Budisen Episode 2 is Here

This one's much better, except for the voice timing, which is really bad. It has a lot more characters too. The next episode of Shak will be Shak Budisen and the Has-Beens, where a buncha senile old rocker dudes who are the same species as Shak visit him to play their last concert. Don't expect it anytime soon though. I didn't include the opening song because its kinda lame and its on my other computer. Enjoy if you feel so inclined.

Really Frikkin Tired and Lazy, plus, a change in the blog.

The title says it all. Plus, the novelty of having a blog has kinda worn off, so from now on, I'm only gonna post when I have something to say. Thus fourth, this is no longer the Daily Cynic, but the official blog for my "Company" of me and my computer, and a blog of rants.

The Golden Compass: Review: Score: 2/10

After Seeing The Golden Compass I decided it was such a monumental failure that I needed to split it into three parts.

Part 1: Comparing the Movie to the book.

In this area, the movie deserves even less than two points. Phillip Pullman's book is an amazing achievement, a modern classic, and it balances action with extreme depth. In order to fit the entire book into one movie, writer/director/butcher Chris Weitz strips the book of all intermediate dialogue and along with it, all of the depth. In a sense, the movie is missing the most interesting part of the book, by throwing away dialogue that uses the story and the setting to explain human nature. Weitz throws away the characters and relationships of  Serafina Pekkala and Farder Coram, who cover the exposition of the witches story much better than the lame, halfhearted section of dialogue that barely explains who the characters are. However, the worst part of the adaptation is the exposition. In Pullman's novel, every plot point and every bit of the exposition are used to facilitate the storyline, and also help to build to a climactic ending. However, the air of mystery that his plotting creates is lost in the film, because Weitz treats the exposition as a chore that is needed to get out of the way in order to get to the action. Therefore, he seems not to care how or where characters and plot points are introduced, throwing them out in a meaningless slapdash fashion that by no means leads to a climactic battle. Plot points especially are revealed to early or too late, when revealed early, ruining the surprise of later action scenes. Finally, the films worst point comes in its adaption of the book's three key action scenes: Iorek Brnerson's (I think I misspelled that) battle with the bear king, Lyra's flight from Bolvangar, and Lord Asriel at the gate to another world. Of the three, the latter is completely cut from the movie, and as it is the final scene, the film ends abruptly. The other two are presented in switched order, with the confrontation with the bear king coming before Bolvangar, completely destroying the build of the plot. The production design also seems to hold low regard for the book. Again, where in the book, things were designed purposefully to show the condition of a place, the design of the film seems flashy, especially with the design of the bear's armor. The only sets that seem to capture the spirit are Bolvangar and Mrs. Coulter's house. All in all, while the book was deliberate, deep, and exiting, the film is dull, slapdash, and confusing.

Part 2: Just as a film

As a film, The Golden Compass is awful. It is extremely slow paced until the end, and everything that is supposed to be exciting is dull. Although some scenes occasionally manage to be slightly threatening, the film fails to evoke any feeling in the viewer. As far as the actors go, most of them are horribly underused. Despite his top billing, Daniel Craig only appears in a few brief scenes as Lord Asriel, and when he does appear, he lacks presence. All the secondary characters' parts are so small it seems impossible for the actors and actresses who play them to do anything with them. Even Ian McKellan, who is usually an excellent actor, delivers a very typecast performance as Iorek. The films only saving grace is the excellent special effects, and the performances of Dakota Blue Richards as Lyra, and Nicole Kidman as Mrs. Coulter.

Part 3: A rant about what this movie says about the situation of film in general.

Hollywood never learns. Even as fantasy films based on popular novels like Eragon and The Seeker failed miserably and made fans of the respective novels cringe, they were already planning a new slew of films continuing to butcher well known children's fantasy novels. The Golden Compass failed to turn a profit, and like Eragon before it, seemed bent on being a shallow setup for the next film in the franchise, and, due to their financial failure, those sequels were thankfully never made. However, by that time, a string of crappy future franchise-starters were already in production, helmed by inexperienced directors who had probably not even read the books they were adapting until they were brought onboard for the project. What is happening is that each major Hollywood studio wants a hit like The Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter however, what they seem to fail to recognize is that those movies were actually good. Until Hollywood is able to make a movie based on a popular book that is not only watchable, but entertaining and a solid example of filmmaking, there will be no success. 

I can fly

No really, I can! I really really can. It really aggravates me when you people say I can't fly when I so clearly can. So what if I really can't fly. I can fly!

P.S This is just my way of posting something since I've been terrible about posting lately. Not like anyone cares... OH YEAH, I started working on the next Shak Budisen cartoon! I'll post it once I finish.

What is happening at this very moment, and what happened slightly before it+ one crazy dream

I am sitting at my computer typing "I am sitting at my computer typing" Before that: I have started work on Shak Budisen episode II, and I had an amazing dream that inspired me for a movie. I had this dream after watching The Science of Sleep. Hmm. Anyways, I had a dream about a society taken over and shattered, and Calvin and Hobbes from Calvin and Hobbes were in it, except Calvin had a Calvin and Hobbes comic book. There was this processing station where the captured society people were, and Calvin ripped some pages from his own comic book and to take with him into a ruined world. Then, he and Hobbes were driving through this tangle of dead branches by a beach made of smooth river pebbles. Than, they found cannibals on the beach and they chased them and the pebbles were all bloody and than Calvin and Hobbes, relying on the knowledge from the comic book, learned how to fish by tying Calvin to a rope with a lot of bait and lowering him into the water. And then I woke up. This gave me a scenario for a movie: The world is undergoing an apocolypse, and the inhabitants are being brainwashed to be made into slaves. After they are brainwashed, a young boy and girl who know nothing of society, find a stash hidden in a tree. It contains half a pack of chewing gum, a model of the starship Enterprise, and a stack of Calvin and Hobbes comics. Using the comics as their only guide, the boy and girl take flight, and, as they have no prior knowledge of society, they treat everything in the comics as if it were real. Each taking the role of either Calvin or Hobbes, two confused, over-imaginative, hyperactive children take off on a wild chase through a post-apocolyptic world, holding the keys to the future in their hands, and as the only escapees who know anything about saving themselves (note I didn't say the only escapees) they just might save the world and put things right again. The question is: do they want to, and if so, at what cost? Movie studios, if you dare take my ideas and ruin and Hollywoodidise them, I will crap my pants and shove my sodden, feces-laden boxers down your throats. Whew, what a threatening sentence!

Iron Man Scores 95% on Rotten Tomatoes

and I am left with nothing to say. This is the second time critics have sold a movie to me better than trailers, with the first being "Ratatouille."I guess I'll just have to see it to believe it. I realize that this is my first post in weeks. I've been hugemangously busy as tomorrow is the opening night of a play that I'm in. I've watched "Sweeny Todd, the Demon Barber of Fleet Street" which I enjoyed. Yep, that's it. More stuff coming whenever I can post and feel like doing so.