Star Wars Episode I- The Phantom Menace was horrible beyond belief, and I easily thought it was the worst Star Wars movie yet, full of boring "political" plot lines, and dull acting, not to mention *shudder* Jar Jar Binks. That was before The Clone Wars, a movie so unbelievably awful that the fact that it shares a name with Genndy Tartakovsky's amazing animated miniseries disgusts me. The characters barely resemble their film counterparts, both physically (for the animation is stiff and ugly beyond words) and personality-wise. They constantly spew corny catch phrases and awful nicknames, making every line of dialogue cringe-worthy. Oh, and there's a new character, Anikin's apprentice, who's completely irrelevant anyway, and who's main purpose seems to be coming up with sickening nickname after sickening nickname, and screwing up the star wars timeline even worse than all the fan fiction spinoffs that are already out there. Not even the action is entertaining, as the animation is so stiff and uninteresting that it seems more like watching a bad video game from the 90s. I would like to give a small nod to the music, which, although unbelievably out of synch with the tone of the movie, displays a slight hint of originality, using vocals to create atmosphere in a fashion similar to Richard Gibbs and Bear McCreary's music on Battlestar Galactica. However, the visuals are so inadequate that there is no mood for the music to set. Unfortunately for Star Wars fans, the torture is not yet over as the movie is but a 90 minute pilot for a TV series of the same name. The fact that it is a pilot shows greatly in its pacing and narrative structure, which seems to consist of three half hour segments mashed together with vaguely similar (albeit completely unimportant) story lines. This adds to the film's problems even more by making it disjointed and even less exciting. Overall, The Clone Wars is bland, irritating, and a worthless addition to the already bloated Star Wars Universe that only serves to further mangle the timeline.
The short version-
|Score- || 2/10|
|Guilty Pleasures Score- - 0.5/5|